Reluctantly I tried to make her adore me rather than love me. She slapped me instantaneously and without regret. Two times I told bold faced lies but only because the truth would have freaked her out so intensely and dramatically that there would be no recovery from it. Truly.
And forget about pleauring her to the point of no return. No, she would not approve of such madness. To her pleasure is mostly derived from extended periods of celibacy and finger pointing. I'm not lying here.
On our anniversary I did my best to show her a good time. I made reservations at some fancy pants French restaurant but when we got there they said that I made no such reservation. I spoke to the manager but all he did was furrow his brow and roll his eyes. So, I punched him square in the jaw and tore up his fancy pants suit.
We were escorted out of the place as the manager shouted French insults. My love she looked like she was about to cry but instead she slapped me and jumped on my person. She licked my face and kissed my neck. She seemed very excited.
So we skipped dinner and went straight to dessert. Ha, ha. I'm not a big fan of inunedos but they do serve a purpose. So, after having hot sex in the back of my accord, she said nothing to me. I couldn't tell if she was happy or sad.
I guess she was mainly disappointed because that was the last time I saw her. Really it was. Well... it was the last time she knew I saw her.
Ten years later I spotted her at the local mall. She was holding a crap load of shopping bags and looked very happy. She was also being embraced by some tall muscular guy with a mustache. I stood about four feet behind them; they didn't even know anyone was watching them.
Five minutes passed and some kids ran out of the toy store and towards them. They shouted, "Mommy! Daddy! Look what we got!" I watched them take each other's hand and walk away like the quintessential happy family.
Now, I don't know if I feel happy or sad.