Sunday, December 30, 2012

Nothing Could Be Further

When I think of all the cosmic bullshit that most of us contend with on a daily basis it almost makes me glad I am not living as an amoeba or bacteria of sorts. Seriously, if we could only focus on something much more worthwhile other than gadgetry and popularity I know for certain that our evolution would skyrocket to phenomenal proportions.

Now I know I'm not just running off my mind's thoughts here. They are everyone's thoughts! We all pretty much think the same, act the same and breathe the same air. This you cannot even pretend to deny. Most of our habits are habitual by nature.

I am proud to be Human! Even if most Humans aren't proud themselves. It's understandable but not viable. Sure, bad stuff happens and can often put a damper on our mood but so what. The second we give in to the bad stuff is the second we convince ourselves that we're not spectacular.
And nothing could be further from the truth!

What I Am

I am what I am because it is all that I am. I am not a business man. I am not an arrrogant CEO. I'm just me.

Usually when I write down a thought I do not think it over much. If I do that then I run the risk of falling prey to a metaphorical blockage. A mental blockage.

What is the mind if not a series of connections upon connections upon connections? It stores everything within its many chasms and gorges. It stretches and grows with each new piece of information that we feed it.

We grow right along with it.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

German III

German III. Named after a friend.


I Dream Them

At two o'clock in the morning I do not know what is left to be taken advantage of. If I poke my eyeball with a graphite pencil will it bleed right away or will it simply fester for some time before it explodes? I lay carelessly on a stack of books and sort through the images floating in and around my head.

If I were a lunatic I believe some things would be easier to tolerate. I often traverse the many continents of my subconscious world. There are many things I ignore and many things that humanity ignores.

We are not machines but we think we are. We are not hollow beings without emotion. We absorb the good and the bad because they aid us in our sociological development.

At two o'clock in the morning I do battle with some impending insecurity. It makes a mockery of me, perniciously. Now, dreams are made for dreamers and I dream them.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

These Rays of Light

The rays of light shooting forth from my window call out to me. They do not speak a clearly defined tongue or dialect. Though I am still able to comprehend most of what they speak.

These rays of light offer me warmth, kindness and loyalty. I only wish I could offer the same.

Cell Phones & Diet Coke

Cell phones and diet coke cans sprawled out before our sentience. I make myself a grilled quesadilla with sour cream and plenty of salsa on the side. My life makes some sense. Even if you cannot see it.

I read Tolstoy with vigor and Maugham with opulence. I try not to peruse the information highway too often but it is always at my finger tips. Yesterday I thought to myself 'I'd like to be an entertainer of sorts'. But no it is not within me to pander to a crowd of doubters. I'd sooner jump into a vat of boiling hot oil.

The leather band I wear on my right wrist smells of sweet hide. I wonder what animal it came from. I wonder about slaughterhouses sometimes whenever I eat a cheeseburger. I don't eat cheeseburgers everyday; no. I do have sympathy for all creatures big and small but I don't always have the resources to purchase or grow vegetarian alternatives.

The closest I ever came to being a vegetarian was one summer when I ate nothing but granola and cereal. I swear for nearly three months that was all I ate! It made me feel quite famished and light headed. I eventually gave it up, only because I could no longer tolerate being hungry.

Some people are carnivores and some are vegetarians. Most tend to be omnivores. That's just the way things are. It's not the way things have to be but it's just the way they are. All sustenance is composed of the same molecules anyhow. The same applies to us homosapiens.

I'd eat mud if mud tasted exactly like a pepperoni and sausage pizza with extra cheese. But, sadly, it doesn't so therefore I do not eat mud. I suppose I could think of myself as a cheese-tarian but only part time.

I often wonder how people will describe us one hundred or so years from now. They might just think of us as the civilization that had cell phones and drank diet coke. Oh and everything else that happened in between.

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Galactic Alignment

Galactic Alignment! Galactic Alignment! Galactic Alignment! The new energies showering us will force us all to become more introspective, compassionate, loving and aware. Just like a rainstorm can affect our mood so too can weather patterns in space. We are about to experience a cosmic energy storm of unmeasurable proportions! (I've already begun to feel it. And it feels magnificent.)

Ready For Apocalypse

I got my stacks of books. I'm ready for the "apocalypse".


Cosmic Enchilada

I'm not afraid. This cosmic enchilada is what we've all chosen to create. At times it can be good, at times it can be bad. But it is why we're all here, all of us. So do not fret much longer than is needed. This enchilada requires our cheese.

Pour the sauce on it as well as any chopped onions or green chili peppers you may have. If it tastes awful it is your own damn fault. Nobody should have to choke down a stale portion of the Great Enchilada. Nor should anyone ever, ever fear it. For we are It.

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Flux

We are energy in a constant state of flux.

Digital Memories

Stinking digital
Demise
Constructed
Numerous
Nervous
Realities
The guitar notes
Are but
Mere reference
Points
For
Future
Analyses
We have the nerve
We have the power
To stand for
Something potent
Something more lasting
Than
Digital
Memories

Monday, December 17, 2012

Look Into Glass

Looking into glass. We see each other's faults and flaws but let the wisdom of youth pass us by without so much as a hello. I may be young by all traditional standards but rest assured the molecules that compose my brain and body have existed since time began; and a million more years before that.

Age is often stereotyped but so is youth. Both are capable of insulting one another on a regular basis. Because of that I do not believe one holds more wisdom than the other. It is all a matter of levels. Different people achieve different levels of existence in order to gain new perspectives and insights into what we've come to call humanity.

Make no mistakes unless you truly learn from them. Don't expect every choice you make to be a successful one. Don't expect every relationship you have to be filled with non-stop romance and passion. Don't read something just because the mass populace says it is groovy. What the hell does the populace know?

If you want to find yourself, your true self, stare into some glass. Let your reflection reflect what you need to see and be. Respect yourself and others or just shut the hell up.

I Blow My Mind

I sit here on my mattress of air; unnervingly content. On my television screen plays a movie set in Paris in the 1920's. A writer meets some of his literary idols and is blown away by how human they seem. I must admit that I am somewhat blown away as well.

At the same time I peruse through the first drafts of some short stories I've written this past year. I believe they are more than first drafts. I do not like to edit much of my own worded significance. Usually I prefer to add more words to an already big pile of words and watch the pile even itself out. It is quite a sight to witness.

Now I think of what to document next. Perhaps I must wait a while longer. Perhaps I'll analyze some poetry. Line by line. Verse by verse. I shall blow my own mind.

Life is Wondrous

Life is wondrous! It is miraculous! Those in positions of authority are good at making us forget by distracting us with consumerism, war, poverty, disease, politics. And they only do so out of fear. They fear we will discover just how magnificent we ALL are!

Sunday, December 16, 2012

All Will Be Well

There is a new energy shooting down upon us right at this moment! It comes from the center of our Galaxy. It comes from the source of all that is and all that there ever will be. Do not fear it. Fear has no place within this new energy. Be calm and present. Be yourself and surround yourself with family & friends. All will be well.

Los Beatles

Collage worked my sketchbook.


Sleek


Calf

Mainstream media is nothing but a calf suckling at the teet of corporate sponsors.

Exit

Exit
Bodies
Enter
Rotting
Democracy
Dark profiteers
Fill
Our children's minds
With promises of
Happiness
And
Satisfaction
Only
To produce more
Bullshit
In a box
And sell it, market it
As the thing that
Everyone needs in order
To be a Complete
Being

Saturday, December 15, 2012

My 8th Book Fascination Is Now Published


                               
                               
                               
                               

                            id="preview"
classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000"
    width="600"
    height="900">

   
   
   


            name="preview"
        type="application/x-shockwave-flash"
        data="http://www.lulu.com/viewer/flash/doc-viewer.swf?version=20121211124455"
        width="600"
        height="900">
       
       


     

This content requires Adobe Flash Player version 8.0.0 or greater. Get Flash






         

Bask

Bask in the Sun's light. Breathe in deeply, breathe out. Smile and know that the entirety of existence is taken care of. This includes You.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Our Own

It's our own damn fault. Our own fault for turning killers into t.v. stars. Our own fault for valuing materialism over humanity. Our own fault for feeling so insecure and paranoid that we arm ourselves with more weapons than an individual needs. Our own fault for insulting each other and pushing each other away. But most of all it is our own damn fault for believing we are separate from everything and everyone! WE ARE ALL INTERCONNECTED AND INTERDEPENDENT! How many times must this be said until it finally sinks in? We help one another survive!

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

The Disjointed

Thinking
Inside
Thinking
Inside
Orange
And
Blue
Divide the
Normal
Senses
Thinking
Inside
What use is
An imagination
Encased in
Granite & lime
Hostilities dissolve
Rather than memorialize the pain
Fictional hallucinations internalize
The disjointed states of calm.

Duality

Many t.v. shows get close to realizing the duality of life but just never quite get there.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Energy

None of us may live forever. Certainly not in one form. For if we did then all life and all energy would become stale and quite possibly destroy itself for nourishment.
We are afforded this brief existence by no mere roll of the dice. By living our lives we keep the energy flowing.
We keep the Universe alive!

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Life Evolves

Life evolves differently under different circumstances but always finds a way to flourish.

Kingdom

I feel
So frustrated
Yet
Liberated
This kingdom
Will
Fall
No need
To panic
Just be
Romantic
Our kingdom
Will
Fall
Democracy
Shall
Fail us
Democracy
Failed us
Our kingdom
She
Falls

Odds Of

The odds of attachment are much higher than one realized.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Boy With No Face

Here's a short story I wrote:

Some time ago, but not too long ago, there lived a boy with no face. When I say no face I mean just that... no face. He was born without an actual face. He could still talk and eat through a very small hole located beneath his chin. But he had no proper mouth.

He did not have very many friends during the most formative years of his life. You could say he was one of those "late bloomers" but that moniker just would not be accurate. It might be somewhat more accurate to say he was the quintessential loner type. Even though he did not enjoy being a loner he eventually learned to tolerate it.

Please, do not feel sorry for him. For he never really felt sorry for himself. If he had then he probably would not have lived as long as he did.

He was born on a cold December morning in the year of the rat. His parents were not of any particular descent but certainly resembled beings of great cultural significance. They were both very happy when he was born. They did not care that he was born without a face. They loved him and taught him about self-awareness and self-confidence.

When he first attended elementary school all the kids made fun of him. They would chant things like, "No face! No face! Where's your face?" For the most part he was able to ignore their ignorant chants and jeers. Then one day a cute little girl in his class approached him and asked, "How are you able to see?" "I do not see in the same way that you might. But I can feel the energetic vibrations that everyone and everything emits. It's like a unique form of sonar." The little girl did not understand his answer so she just waved bye and walked back to her group of friends.

The remainder of his elementary career continued in the same fashion. Most of the kids did their best to ignore him but every once in a while one of 'em would approach him and ask a question. Of course, he always answered. It may not have been the answer they were expecting but it was an answer nonetheless.

By the time he reached middle school he was pretty sick and tired of being ignored by his fellow peers. He kept a journal and wrote in it daily. It helped somewhat but not entirely. He practiced karate and learned to break wooden boards with his forehead. It also helped him relieve his frustrations but the effect did not last very long.

In high school he became more involved in the creative arts. In particular, painting and sculpting. He painted a lot of still lifes, portraits and nudes. He sculpted mostly from his own subconscious desires. He once tried sculpting the head of the most popular and beautiful girl in school but it took him longer than expected and so he lost interest.

It wasn't until his senior year that he was invited to numerous parties by some of the popular kids. He didn't attend them initially because he figured they just wanted to have someone strange looking at their parties in order to serve as some kind of entertainment. But he ended up attending one, as a bit of a social experiment.

At this particular party just about everyone was drunk or in the process of becoming drunk. Nobody recognized him because he cleverly disguised himself by donning a very detailed latex mask. He ordered the mask via ebay then repainted it with his own special mix of acrylic paints. As soon as it dried it resembled some sort of androgynous being.

He slipped in between groups and cliques with great ease. A couple of peers asked him who he was; he said his name was Allen. One young lady came onto him in the most peculiar way. She asked him if he had any drugs on him because she wanted to get high and then engage in sexual relations with him. He of course did not have any drugs on him so he politely told her he didn't. She still seemed interested in his company but quickly succumbed to her own inebriation and passed out on an old tattered armchair.

He then sat outside for a while underneath a patio umbrella and watched as his generation spiraled out of control. He witnessed boys throwing up in bushes and girls throwing up in handbags. A part of him wanted to cry and another part of him wanted to laugh. But he maintained his countenance.

Soon he found himself enjoying a hot dog or two and partaking of something called flan. It was tasty but its texture was comparable to a skiddish slug. He also ate a handful of salted pretzels and a bushel of popcorn. He then washed it all down with a diet root beer.

Just as he was about to leave the god forsaken party he noticed someone hiding behind a rose bush. It was a small girl. She was sitting cross-legged with a notepad in one hand and a ballpoint pen in the other. She looked up at him and smiled. He tried to smile back but of course he could not but he imagined the mask he was wearing formed somewhat of a smile.

"Hello. My name's Caroline. What's yours?" The small girl asked. She appeared to be no more than eight or nine years old. "Nice to meet you, Caroline. My name is Allen." He did his best to make sure he believed himself to be an Allen. Caroline did not seem to buy it. "You're probably wondering why I'm sitting here behind this rose bush." She stood up and dusted her knees. "Why yes I guess I am." "I'm actually just taking notes." "Notes?" "Yes. Notes." "Notes for what?" "Oh just a book idea I've been tinkering with."

He had a hard time believing a little girl could or would want to write a book but he played along nonetheless. "You're writing a book? What is it about?" He asked. "Oh it's just about a girl who hides behind bushes and spies on people and takes notes about what those people do when they are drunk." "Hmm. Sounds familiar." "Yeah I know it does but no one has written anything like it yet. So I figured I could write it." Caroline dusted her knees a little more then slipped her pen into the spiral binding of her notepad. "Do you have a title yet?" He asked. "I think I'm gonna' title it Rose Bush." "Hmm. Not a bad title."

"I should probably get home now. My Mom might be wondering where I am. It was nice meeting you, Allen." "Same here." They shook hands and she skipped out of the backyard then down the street.

As he watched her skip away he couldn't help but feel some sort of affinity for the girl's keen wisdom. He also felt very much like an observer who was in danger of becoming an enabler. An enabler of truth? Perhaps.

He sat back down under the umbrella and had a moment of extreme clarity. His classmates weren't getting drunk because they were weak willed or hollow. It was simply their way of numbing themselves. That's right, they numbed away their emotional pains much like the way a doctor numbs his patient before any serious surgery.

"How could I not see this before?" He asked himself. "It's as if they are all in much greater pain than I am. My entire life has consisted of embracing my own uniqueness and shrugging off whatever insults were hurled my way. But what about them? They've been locked into a perpetual cycle of insults and bullying since kindergarten. Maybe even longer than that. I can see now that someone must break the cycle. It needs to be broken otherwise it will be passed on to their children and their children's children. And so on and so forth."

With that he ran back inside, jumped onto a stool and shouted a message of hope. "My fellow peers! Please heed my words! Stop all of your senseless debauchery! I know you are hurting! I know you feel like no one understands you! Believe me when I tell you that I completely sympathize with you!" A few kids payed attention to him but most kept dancing and drinking.

"I urge you to put down the alcohol and turn on your minds!" They continued to ignore him. Then one peer approached him emphatically and sincerely spoke. "Hey, man. I know what you're talking about and I agree with you for the most part. But it's just easier to ignore all the bullshit in the world and get drunk. I mean... as teenagers we hardly have a say in what goes on around us and most of our parents are too busy with trying to pay the bills to really give a damn about anything else." He handed him a cold can of beer.

The boy with no face reluctantly took the can of beer, stared at it for some time, and popped it open. He squirted the golden alcohol all over his face-mask then spilled the rest on the floor. He felt anew so ran around and shouted. "I am reborn! I am reborn! I am reborn!"

Later that night, he stumbled home with a smile on his face-mask and the phone numbers of seven beautiful girls in his pocket.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Needs

Let's face it... the majority NEEDS to be offended on a regular basis. It knocks 'em out of that egotistical state that consumes them.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Special

I drew this out rather quickly. It is inspired by someone fictitous and someone real.


Within Her

When I saw her at the end of the hallway I couldn't help but take notice. Her hair shimmered like golden flecks of undying sunlight. Her skin was that of tanned silk.

I watched her loiter for a whiile. Different people approached her and asked many inane questions. A few requested her phone number.

She did not tell them. She would not tell them. More approached her and more attempted to sway her. She shook her head and brushed off their compliments.

No one can ever even hope to possess her. He who tries is always met with laughter and disappointment. I believe she really enjoys turning down every possible suitor. But when I see her, I see the hole within her.